


Our Resting Place

by Nisaki



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e04 The End, Hurt Dean, Hurt Sam, Kissing, M/M, Wincest - Freeform, despite the major character death thing...it's not really death? it doesn't count..it's complicated, kinda true love kiss, this ends in a hopeful way, this is sadder than I thought it would be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-07
Updated: 2017-10-07
Packaged: 2019-01-10 07:07:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12293925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisaki/pseuds/Nisaki
Summary: Sam's thoughts and feelings during the conversation between Dean and Lucifer during The End ep.  True love saves the day.





	Our Resting Place

**Author's Note:**

> Written for wincest writing challenge. Richard Siken inspired, My prompt was ''I say I want you inside me and you hold my head under water,''  
> My partner for this round is corrupteddean. Thanks to the wonderful people holding this challenge, you guys are the best.
> 
> This line struck me as very grim, and devastated me and killed me. This promet was so hard for me to fill.It took a turn I didn't expect.   
> This is unbeta-ed

When they've said Apocalypse, Sam imagined fire from earth and pieces of the sky falling, instant destruction and mass killings. And somehow the reality was worse.

The world was falling apart, but not as fast as he thought it would, slow death and hot burning rage and hatred and he was suffocating. Prisoner in his own body.

Lucifer wouldn't allow him to die, wouldn't let him shut down and feel nothing.

He showed him with vivid details, made him feel the warm, sticky blood of everyone he murdered, smell the metallic, coppery sent and drawn in the pleas to stop.

It was so cruel, but eventually Sam got used to it, got so numb he didn't care who was Lucifer beating up anymore. He lost track of time, forgot what was it like to own his limps and to feel the air in his lungs or the breeze between his strands. These were things Lucifer denied him, and Sam stopped hoping for it to stop. He said yes, he deserved it.

************************************

Dean.

It was Dean who tried to sneak up on Lucifer, Dean whose neck was between their hands. Dean's bones snapping under their shoe.

Sam was screaming, begging. _Don't, don't, please don't._ Lucifer laughed.

He thought he was crying, he didn't know for sure. There were no sounds in the air, no tears in his eyes. Are they even his eyes anymore? Or were they Lucifer's?

The world wasn't done hurting him though, because when Lucifer turned around, Sam saw Dean again. His heart ached something fierce and his throat tightened, not bodily just a ghost of what would've happened if his body was his.

''Oh, hello Dean,'' Lucifer said, and he wasn't acting, he was surprised that Dean was in front of him, but he was delighted.

 _This is not your Dean, Sammy._ Echoed through Sam's brain.

_This one still loves you, this is the one you haven't betrayed yet._

_Stop, please._ Sam begged. It's pathetic, he knew Lucifer didn't care, but he couldn't not. This was Dean.   

_Look how broken he is; to see his brother possessed by Lucifer, to know that you consented._

Sam closed his eyes, and raised his hands to cover his ears. He could see it in his head but in reality, his body was still, eyes wide open; giving him the view of Dean crying and promising to kill Lucifer.

''You won't kill Sam,'' Lucifer told Dean. Despite the situation, part of Sam, a part he thought long dead, wished that it was true. That somehow Dean still loved him enough to try and save him.

Lucifer's laugh filled his ears. _He will try, Sammy. But he won't succeed_. 

''He misses you, you know,''

''Shut up!'' Dean hissed, eyes tearing up once more.

''It's true. He was so upset when you didn't allow me to touch your shoulder,''

 _What are you doing?_ Sam cried desperately. _Stop it, just let him be!_

Lucifer ignored him of course, and Sam watched helplessly, as Lucifer made a move towards Dean.

''He would feel it, it's still his body. Don't you want to make him feel better? Haven't you missed him too?''

Sam felt horror spread through him as the realization of what Lucifer was trying to make Dean do downed on him. Worst of all, he wanted it. Lucifer wasn't wrong, Sam missed Dean. It didn't matter to him that this Dean was not _his_ , but from another time. Seeing his brother killed in front of him, with his own hands, was more than enough to fuck him up on a good day, and he hadn't had a good day since Dean ended that phone call years ago.

''What's the matter, Dean? Don't you want me anymore?'' Lucifer's tone was so Sam like that Dean visibly shook.

''Don't.'' He husked ''Don't speak like him. _Don't you dare_.'' There was anger in Dean's words but so much more was lurking under the surface of his disguising rage. Hurt, helplessness, fear. And so much guilt.  

Sam could feel Lucifer's glee mounting by the moment, could see Dean's resolve ready to crumble. How long did this Dean spend without him? Sam wondered.

Lucifer stepped closer to Dean, and when he reached out this time, Dean didn't brush off his touch. He watched with cloudy eyes, as Lucifer took one of his hands and placed on his cheek, _Sam's cheek._ Lucifer leaned his head, _Sam's head_ , into the touch, and Dean kept his hand there after Lucifer dropped his.

Dean moved his thump over the smooth skin covering Sam's cheekbone, and another tear slid down his face.

''I'm sorry, Sammy.'' He whispered, right before he leaned in and kissed Sam.

Sam felt it.

In that moment Sam knew, that Lucifer's plan to hurt him with this had backfired. He could feel; his lips as the moved against Dean', Dean's hands on him, his heart beating wildly in his chest. His blood singing, his soul free for the first time

Like a jolt of lightening hitting him down to the bones, Dean's kiss burnt through him with a fire so strong his knees buckled. _His knees_ , he was feeling his knees.

He fell down, and Dean caught him. When he looked up it was all him, he couldn't feel Lucifer.

''Dean...'' He croaked, eyes filling up.

''Sammy?''

Sam nodded, and his tears fell like waterfall as Dean locked their lips again in a more desperate kiss, one that's even hotter than the previous one. He was shaking, weak with relief and too many feelings at once after nothing at all.

''Dean, Dean. I want you,''

Dean pulled back and shook his head ''Not like this,'' He planted another kiss on Sam's mouth ''I'll fix this, Sammy. I'll go back and fix this.''

Sam wanted to say no, to beg Dean to stay with him. But he knew that it can't be. So he nodded, mashing their mouths together.

Dean's body grew hot in his arms, and light started shining from under his skin. Sam sobbed, kissed Dean harder till his brother completely dissipated and nothing but air was in his arms.

His head was still clear. He trusted Dean to amend the past. But the future was his to fix.

Not for the first time, Sam carried Dean's dead body in his arms. But for the first time, and the last, for him at least, he would give Dean the hunter's funeral he deserved.

Finding something to start fire with wasn't hard, as he could start it from scratch thanks to his powers. He accumulated wood around them both and drenched it with as much gasoline as he found. Sam sat on the floor with Dean's body draped over his and let the fire burn.

Burn them both.

His eyes dropped and hope filled him; hope that next time, they won't end like this.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is everything.


End file.
